Have you heard of Celebrate Recovery?  It’s a 12 step program based from scripture to help in the areas of addiction, codependency, etc.  Lots of churches have these Celebrate Recovery groups, and God put a desire in my heart to bring this ministry program to groups like this too.  I had the wonderful opportunity to do so last night, for Cornerstone’s CR Picnic in Delmont, PA.  Little did I know the amazing things God would do this night!  One of the attendees shared with me that Step 4 or the Celebrate Recovery program talks about visiting your past, and making a list of everyone you fear or have resented.  It’s apparently one of the most ‘trying’ parts of the program – many people not having the courage to do so.  This program seemed to ‘fit’ as I shared in line with this step, reminding folks that “Our past is a point of reference, NOT a place of residence.” (He’s Alive radio quote)

We met in this pavilliaon for dinner and then the concert.  So many people showed up, all evidently hungry to hear and experience what God had in store for them this night.  Travis wasn’t able to be with me, and things were stressful before they began, yet thank God for Paul – a dear friend and fellow worship team member, who helped me like a true professional!  He lent his sound system and precious time for the evening.  I’m indebted to you, Paul!

The concert began, and my brother Ken (photographer extraordinare!) came and had fun taking some pictures; thanks, Ken!  The people were so amazingly responsive … it was like they were family, as they held on to every word I said.  It was so encouraging to my heart to actually ’see’ the Lord working … so often God works on the hearts and it’s not terribly evident on people’s faces and countenances.  Tonight was a beautiful exception to the norm … a special luxury I got a sneak peak of!  Thanks, God! )

But it was AFTER the concert that the Lord’s working was even more evident as person after person boldly stepped forward to share with me what the Lord had done.  One of those people I had the privilege of speaking with was Karen.  With such joy, Karen shared with me how the Lord has been nudging her out of her comfort zone and has put a remarkable opportunity for her to share her overcoming addiction testimony this Monday night – please pray, folks!  I spoke with her more in depth about it and she mentioned that she saw such boldness from the Holy Spirit as I shared and such inspiration came to her.  Her excitement was contagious! 

I also spent a great deal of time with a little girl … 7 years old.  Her name is Ashleyana.  She was one of those sweeties who sung the entire concert and seemed to follow me like my shadow each moment thereafter.  After speaking with her mom, I learned that she has a major surgery coming up … the 3rd one so far on her ear.  Apparently the doctor detected hearing loss in Ashleyana’s ear, and thankfully this saved her life!  It was so tragic that it should have taken her life!  It’s still serious, yet with surgery and lots of prayers, she could be saved from some pretty harmful things.  Please pray for Ashleyana.  Her surgery is on May 15th.

As I got off the phone today with so many touched men and women, one gentleman’s encouragement stuck with me.  He was really motivated by the passion he sees in me.  He shared a story of someone else he’s known who was not affected by what other people thought of her.  He made the comparison and encouraged me to be me no matter what!  He said that I have that joy nothing can take away (and ha, he compared me to Rich Mullins – wow, what can I say but ‘Thanks!’)  I don’t say this to sound prideful or just convey an accolade … I just feel like so often, so many of us feel so silly and who God’s made us to be is actually stifled because of what others must think of us.  It’s sad that I just don’t ‘get it’ often enough that God graciously then shows me with a blatant comment like this.  It’s true though, the more I live life, the more I realize that what others think doesn’t matter.  We need to be who God has created us to be – quirks and all.  You never know when God’s gonna use you!  He has a way of working that goes beyond our reasoning and imagination. 

All that said, thaks for all your prayers for this Celebrate Recovery concert.  The ribs didn’t do me in … the stress didn’t win.  God did.  And it was a night for Jesus’ Kingdom that I will never forget.

So, it’s 1:15pm and I’m sitting here, getting a few things done before my concert tonight.  I’ve been so excited for it, yet my body is still in pain from the recent rib dislocation that I’m rather nervous about it now.  As I was remembering how God shows up, to encourage me a little, I was reminded of a story from this past Sunday evening concert … the one before my ER visit! 

Travis and I got to this church, set things up and did a sound check – so far so good.  Yet thereafter, in the moments before the concert began, things just seemed to be so chaotic and stressful - trying to find a way to grab a bite to eat, changing to find the zipper broke in my pants(!), the person then showed up to run the video – um, I wasn’t put together yet, so barefoot and things scattered in the bathroom I ran out to handle that aspect.  At that time, the Associate Pastor came in to meet me … was hoping to be a little more together before that!  Forgot something in the car, sweating because there was no AC in the church, yada, yada, yada. Silly little things that tried to keep my heart from being settled …

Then the concert began.  Each person soaked up what was being said/sung like sponges!  It was so fun … so encouraging.  I couldn’t have asked for it to be any better!

While people were exiting the sanctuary, they were stopping to say goodbye and chat with me.  Person upon person was sharing how God met with them, one woman catching my eye and heart though, like none other.  I remember seeing her and her hubby come in to the church prior to the concert, when I was in my ‘getting the forgotten belonging in the car frenzy’.  Then, throughout the concert, I was drawn to look at her, smile, and pray for her.  After the concert all she could do was look at me with tears in her eyes and say, ‘Somebody understands me!’ inbetween long hugs.  I asked her if she’d like me to call her this week, so that I did.  She shared with me how she wasn’t proud of some things in her past and had kept them to herself for so long.  Later that evening she shared all this pain from her past with her husband and she now feels so wonderful!  Christ is bringing about His healing in her life and the freedom that comes from dealing with our past.  Oh, it’s so wonderful, I now feel like jumping up and down … wait, not a good idea, Judy!

So although I’m in pain … and I even managed to misplace my wallet somehow today, running around like a mad woman in it’s persuit, I know that the Lord is faithful.  His grace is enough to not only sustain me, but use me for His purposes.  And I’ll try to remember that this evening, should my rib do something funky.

I often don’t understand God’s ways;  especially when there is pain and suffering … and to people who love the Lord, and are seeking after Him at that.  What Travis and I witnessed in Brockway, Pennsylvania this past weekend was very sad.  As we drove past this house where the Peterson Family used to reside, just down the street from Brockway Alliance Church, we could hardly catch our breath.  9 of the 10 who tragically died in this house fire were not only of the same family, but attended this church where I would be singing that very next day.  Over dinner with Pastor Tom and his wife Dee, we learned that Kim, the mom, was an avid reader and busy with Vacation Bible School at church the week she unexpectedly died.  The picture I saw of her seemed to scream, ‘How can I love you and show Jesus to you?’  She looked so happy.  Dee also told me that just before Kim died, she told Dee that she was ready to be with Jesus.  We see the pain right now, yet that comment reminds me that she sees such perfect peace and joy like we’ve never experienced. 

Several other pictures were shown to Travis and I of Kim’s children, and her sweet granddaughter who would have just turned one reminded me of the saddness this church and this community was feeling, and this is where my “musicianary” job really comes in.  I continued to listen and learn, meanwhile pray and pray and pray …

The father of the Peterson family, Doug, was at work when this fire happened, so yes, he survived.  I met him before church the next day, and although he smiled and was so kind to me, it was very noticable that the loss he was grieving was keeping his heart from truly living the life I know that’s in there.  My heart broke for him as I saw the sadness in his eyes, and I really applaud him for seeking Jesus through this time, turning to the church for help, and not running away – which would be the easiest thing to do.  His daughter who survived too, wasn’t at church that day.  Please pray for her, as she’s grieving incredibly too, her two children dying in the fire along with her mom and siblings. 

Jimmy, Doug and Kim’s 9 year old special needs son, survived, and I had the privilege of meeting him Sunday at church too.  I plopped next to this fella before church began, not even knowing who he was.  It was like Jesus was saying, ‘Go love on this fella!’, and boy am I glad I did!  Jimmy was fascinated with his newly acquired squirt guns and candy his Bible Bucks had earned him.  He told me he didn’t like music, so I made him promise not to squirt me when I sang, and not only did I not feel a single drop of water but Jimmy was the most captive guy in the entire room the entire concert!  What was he hearing, as I sung and spoke this specific message about asking Jesus how the fear and pain [from the past] is affecting us today and inviting Him to heal our broken hearts?  I trust that Jesus spoke to his precious heart in a way that none of us could, even on our best of days.

I met another person that day too … someone who hadn’t been to this church before.  This Sunday was her first.  Her mom began coming after the funeral, so that would be three weeks now.  During the concert, the heaviness in the room didn’t stop her from moving around and even singing along to ‘Unwritten’.  Hmmmm, if this tragedy hadn’t happened, would she even be at church?  Would she even have had this opportunity to seek Jesus for her hurts and wounds?

You see, I met Pastor Tom back in July of 2007.  At that time, he had just suffered some personal/family difficulties and mentioned to me that the church was struggling too.  Little did he know that God’s put it on my heart to help hurting Pastors [and their families] too, so a concert was scheduled for almost a year away … April 27th of 2008.  He kept being faithful to what God had called him to do in his church and community.  And I kept working toward that date on the calendar. 

Little did we know how specific God arranged the timing of things.  And as I step back from this horrible pain and tragedy … as I look at it with these glasses, I know that God’s not through there.  God’s got GOOD things in store for the Peterson Family, for Pastor Tom and Dee, and for this community.  The best is unwritten, and I’m learning to let the words sung that Sunday morning cause me to act too:  “…waking up to another dark morning, people are mourning, the weather in life outside is storming.  What will it take for the clouds to break, for us to realize each day is a gift, somehow, someway; and get our heads up out of the darkness and spark this new mind set, start to live life ’cause it ain’t gone yet.  Tragedy’s a reminder to take off the blinders and wake up … to live the life we’re supposed to take up, moving forward with all the heads up, ’cause life is worth living.”

Yeah, I had a troubled moment, per se as I was coming home after my concerts this past Sunday.  All of a sudden, without any warning, this intense and sharp pain pervaded in my back, chest and stomache, and I could hardly breathe!  It was so odd … Travis and I stopped for a bite to eat and as we got up to pay the bill, WACK, it hit me!  It was so scary … nothing like that has ever happened to me before.  And here we were, 2 hours away from home.  I couldn’t sit still nor stop crying out, “God, help me!”

And help He did … I thank God for directory assistance, AND the hospital that was a mere 5 minutes away!  I felt like such a dork screaming as I entered the ER, barely able to give Timothy, the AWESOME person registering me, my information.  He did his best to try to calm me down, talked about how he was a Christian singer/songwriter too (how cool is that?), yet no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn’t be relieved of the pain.  So it was off to the hospital bed, lots of sticky things attached to me to monitor my heart, take an EKG, blood work, etc.  The doctor came and tried to calm me down too … the thing that did the trick though was a shot they gave me for the pain.  THANK GOD FOR MEDICINE is all I have to say!  Whatever it was they gave me, it did the trick and I wondered why in the world I was even there in the hospital, once it kicked in to my system! )  I did my rounds of appologies – for how foolish I must have sounded while in pain and all – and even was quite entertaining (or so I was told!) as I waved to the ER staff when being wheeled to x-rays. 

My heart is very healthy … no problems there.  That was a big relief, to say the least.  Here, what happened is that somehow a rib was dislocated, which then caused the cartlidge connecting my ribs to my sternum to swell up pretty bad, giving me the feeling that I was having a heart attack.  I’ll tell you what, I pray that never happens again.  How did it happen?  I honestly don’t know.  My chiropractor tells me it’s usually brought on by doing something strenuous.  Hmmmm, I did just do two concerts that day – yet why did it wait until I was sitting down in the restaraunt to ‘hit me’???  Oh well, I guess I should be thankful for that!

I am now at home trying to rest in between Ibeuprophen and chiropractor visits, I’m getting back up to par.  Thanks for praying, folks!

So that’s my Troublesome Moment adventure story from this past weekend!  A fella from Sunday morning’s concert came up to me afterwards and said, “Don’t take this the wrong way, but you’re like a Christian Madonna.”  Um, I guess that’s pretty troublesome too, yet let’s not go there …