This season of life and ministry sure has had it’s surprises, challenges, extreme joy and frustrating pain all lumped into one! My head spinning is more of a ‘normal’ these days, as I learn to juggle what’s on my plate and try to stay on top of things. And as I’ve had my time in The Word lately, the Lord has really been working on my heart in the deep places where I need to work on my own ‘issues’. You see, the pain and frustration I face, could most certainly be blame shifted or ignored with the excuse of busyness, and yet I’ve learned that the way to live in God’s favor, blessing and to continually become more and more into His likeness is to take a deep look inside …on a daily basis. And you know, it’s so like God that, when we do honestly evaluate and seek Him, He brings His truth and encouragement to the seemingly mundane as well as the ‘deep’ places of our hearts.

This song, You Are For Me, is a worship song by one of my favorite worship artists, Kari Jobe. This live recording was from when I had the privilege of leading it at Cornerstone Ministries with the amazing worship team a few weekends back. God is so good …and as He tangibly reminded me how true it’s message is while enabling me to lead the services that morning after waking up with hardly any voice(!), the message most certainly rings true in the deepest and most challenging stuff I’m walking through right now too. He is for me …He will never forsake me.

And He is for you …be encouraged in that today.

My daughter cut her first tooth this past Saturday …at eight months eight days old, she didn’t want to eat much that day and I was beckoned from my cozy seat during the church service that evening to where she sat crying (and biting insanely on a teething toy, I might add!) in the nursery.  Poor sweetie, she hurt.  It was something good happening …a ‘milestone’ in her life, though she didn’t know it was a good thing, nor wouldn’t for many years to come.  She hurt, and I imagine a bit confused and wanting to cling to Momma.  When we returned home from church that evening, I learned of a special college friend who’s three year old son lay in the ICU from what begun as the flu but turned to severe brain complications, and it now looks to be taking his life.  My heart breaks …I can’t imagine what his Mom, Dad and brother of seven years is going though.  The pain they must feel is beyond what I can fathom, and beyond what anyone should have to go through.  As I think about my teething daughter …how her pain is very real, confusing to her, and yet planned by her Creator, and as I look at the sweet Bocox Family’s pain too …their pain is very real, deeply confusing, and though we don’t see why this has to happen, our Creator has a plan …a good plan.  I think, amidst the deeply difficult to understand times of pain in our lives, God is whispering to the depths of our hearts saying, “I love you.  I have a greater plan ahead.  This pain, though our enemy wants to mean it for evil, I mean it for GOOD …for your amazing future.”  What pain do you have in your life today that God wants you to trust Him, rest in Him, and cling to Him all the more?  As you embrace this season of your life, and as you deeply feel the intense pain and cry amounts of tears you never dreamed possible, I pray that you sense the Lord’s amazing love and passionate pursuit of you.  He is here …He has never left you.  He is faithful, trustworthy, and causes all things to work together for the good if you are His. He has so much good ahead in your story; good that couldn’t otherwise be accomplished if it wasn’t for this pain.  As I pray for the painful things in my life, and cry prayers during the painful things I know in yours too, I’m thanking Him that He is faithful, is here walking with you through it, and has promised good things ahead!  Yeah, good. The tooth hurts now as it’s comin’ through, but what it’ll enable you to do years from now faaaaaaaaaaar exceeds the pain on your plate today. =)

I’m continually amazed as I look back on this past year, how MUCH God did in this music ministry: direct personal impact through concert engagements and personal follow up, much stretching in growing in the craft of songwriting and this specific ministry focus, discipline and growth in time management, the beginning of my global ministry office (ooooh, exciting!!!), and more opportunities to grow and connect with the Lord and help others do the same through worship leading. And as I switched my office around a couple nights ago to make it more practical and ‘baby safe’, (like we’ve been doing with our entire abode, that is!), I am most certainly reminded that we’ve had quite the exciting year on the home front too! 2010 has overall been an exciting year! And as I really look back, it’s struggles tended to deal with resurfacing and ‘blows’ from our enemy who doesn’t want me to grow stronger from the pain in my past, but keep me stuck and caught up in it’s pain meanwhile repeating it …today. It’s 2011 now …a NEW year. And this new year is full of opportunity to celebrate, grow and give my fears and pain all afresh to Jesus as He writes HIS story with each month, week, day, hour and moment. As you begin this new year, be reminded that WE are the reason HE gave HIS life …to bring us hope, joy, freedom and peace. HE is the reason to live, and live victoriously. Here’s an audio clip of yours truly and my friend and worship pastor Alan Hannah with the song “We Are The Reason” which we and the team shared for the Christmas Eve services. I pray it encourages ya as you begin this new year and give your story to Him!

Maybe it’s just the new momma in me, or perhaps because Evangelina spent her first week of life in the hospital. Or maybe it’s because I’m watching my sweetie with her little cold at the moment, but this had me crying up a storm!  Truth is, your story, pain and all, is a remarkable story that God’s using to impact so many others each day, if you let it; that’s no small thing!  This Christmas, thank Him for your many blessings …even your pain.  Your story wouldn’t be as precious or important without it.

While visiting some family for the Thanksgiving holiday, Travis, Evangelina and I took a detour and spent a day in Nashville, Tennessee.  It’s been a decade since this artist almost packed her bags and moved there and wow, how my perspective and life has changed since back then!  Rather melancholic that day in Nashville, God reminded me of how He has surpassed my musical dreams and given me more than I could imagine with now my husband and baby girl to boot.  And He surprised us with a little present that day too; on top of a time to simply soak up some Nashville music, I ended up closing out the evening’s festivities at the legendary Bluebird Café by performing one of my newest original songs!  I was honored to be on the stage where many great artists in Music City perform, and even more tickled to see/hear the response after sharing the only Christian song played/sung that evening.  God is so cool how He works like that!

My husband splurged and spoiled me good for our Anniversary! We revisited the place where we had our rehearsal dinner six years prior, and then we had seventh row seats to see AMY GRANT at a beautiful, sold-out venue! I’ll tell you what, there couldn’t be a more influential singer/songwriter to me as a young girl to the present. God has used Amy to really spark the desire for music ministry in my heart way back when, and I’ll tell you what, being at her concert was so surreal for me; and something this still-busy-adjusting-new-momma needed for her creative self! Amy’s career spans over 30 years, and God’s done beyond her wildest dreams with her life …even amongst pain along the way.  Thanks, God, for the joy you’ve given me as I’ve revisited this delightful part of my past, in giving hope out of the painful stuff too.  And here’s to hopes that I’ll still be singing at 50! =)

It’s a question I think we need to ask ourselves often …especially in today’s busy culture where time management is something we simply, more often than not, don’t want to spend the time doing: What is really important? Busyness surrounds us, and sure can keep us from what’s honestly important. It’s funny though, if you think about it, we really only fill our schedules, add friends on Facebook, and make plans so we don’t miss out on what’s really important, but if we take an honest look, most of us are too busy in the attempts not to miss out and the opposite ends up happening -we are swamped and what’s most important ends up being neglected.  God’s really been reminding me of the importance of managing my time in a way that’s realistic for the place in life He has me, prioritizing the people closest to me in this calling of being a wife, mother and artist. It’s not an easy task for any of us, but one in which is indeed necessary if we truly want to become to the fullest that which Christ calls us to be.  How are you doing in making what’s really important really important? …let me know if I can be praying for you! 

So …I’m sitting here at the church, in a rather melancholy mood. Perhaps it’s the thoughts from a family wedding we ventured to this past weekend combined with the lack of sleep from our long drive home late last night.  Or it could be from some rather emotional ‘baggage unloading’ with my significant other while en route in the wee hours of the morning.  Or maybe reflecting on the death of a dear friend who’s funeral was this morning combined with memories of dedicating my sweet darling a few weekends ago at church that triggered it all.  Whatever it is, I find myself very distracted this afternoon, and quite mad that ‘more work’ isn’t getting accomplished.  But as I sit here in this quiet, and listen, it’s though the Lord is reminding me once again how sacred this thing called LIFE is …our past, our present, and our future.  Our every moment; the good, the bad and the ugly, is a relational tapestry, woven piece by piece, for significance …and something not to ignore nor pass by nonchalantly.  Every moment of every day we get a choice to either listen to what God is telling us and pattern our lives in making little by little significant choices for eternity, or we can miss out on so much; miss out amidst the busyness and never truly know God’s best for us.  What is God saying to you today?  Are you on a mountain top, in a valley, somewhere in between???  Are your actions, your choices, your family and your mind focused on what’s significant?  This thing we call life is sacred.  If you’re living with the mindset that it’s anyting other, I challenge you to rethink this life God has given you.  It’ll be worth it.

My husband surprised me good this past Tuesday!  He arranged for a sitter and whisked me away to a special worship concert with renown songwriters/worship leaders Paul Baloche, Kathryn Scott and Brian Doerksen.  Exactly what we needed, we worshiped together led by these amazingly talented and definitely God chosen individuals.  Those of you who have been with me since back in ‘the day’ when I, then Judy Requarth, recorded a demo before I just about headed off to reside in Nashville, may recognize the name Kathryn Scott.  The Lord’s really used this gal to help teach me much about worship leading; especially using her heart and piano/vocal way in leading others in worship.  One of the songs recorded on my early demo was Child Of God, a Kathryn Scott original.  WOW, did God really connect with me and encourage this heart last Tuesday evening with Kathryn leading …and talking with her thereafter, when this picture was taken.  (And yes, that is Paul Baloche’s head between ours …ha ha!)  A current song of Kathryn’s, which she led that is on replay in my mind the past several days, is entitled ‘You’re Good’, the chorus sings: “You’re good, You’re good.  You’re the rescue that’s waiting, God, You are faithful. You’re good, You’re good.  It’s you’re mercy that’s claimed us, Your grace that forgave us. You’re good.” Just what my heart needed to hear and what I’m going forward with, in these days ahead.  He IS good, beyond what we can comprehend, and in living a life of worship, it’s our place to live focused on His goodness.  It’s a way we worship Him when things around us are uncertain and the enemy throws a lot of discouragement our way.  He’s good …cling to HIM and watch His goodness unfold even in the most difficult times of your life.  It will.  He’s full of love and goodness toward you.  He can’t give you anything other!